Monday, January 24, 2011
Palin Puppet Power
The Man: Ms. Palin, you are a real patriot. Your decision to accept the VP nomination meant a lot to our party.
Puppet Palin: Thank you. I'll do anything for my country and party.
The Man: Well here's what we need you to do now.
Puppet Palin: Sure, anything.
The Man: We need you to resign from your position as Governor and go to work full time for the party.
Puppet Palin: What? I can't leave my state and depart my term early. What would people think?
The Man: Ms. Palin, don't worry. We'll take care of what people think. We want you to be the voice of the party.
Puppet Palin: But won't they think that I bailed on my home state.
The Man: Like we said, we'll do the worrying.
Puppet Palin: What do you want me to do.
The Man: We want you to keep the party's issues out in front in the media.
Puppet Palin: I won't have to interview with Katie Couric again, will I?
The Man: No, we'll take care of her. We are going to make you a major celebrity. You'll get book deals, speaking engagements, an expanded wardrobe, and travel across the country. We'll even set you up a Twitter account.
Puppet Palin: What's Twitter?
The Man: It's this new way to spread the word. You'll be able to speak to the world about whatever comes to your mind.
Puppet Palin: What else.
The Man: We might even be able to get you a reality show.
Puppet Palin: Like The Osbournes?
The Man: Well, we haven't worked out the details yet. We even might be able to get Bristol something.
Puppet Palin: Like what?
The Man: Maybe a reality show moment too.
Puppet Palin: Like American Idol?
The Man: That might be pushing it.
Puppet Palin: So, basically this means I'll be the candidate in 2012.
The Man: Well, not exactly. We want you to wear everybody out before we bring Newt to center stage.
Puppet Palin: Okay. This patriot is in.
With two years to go, they'll be moving her to stage left. Lets see if Newt, their link to The Gipper, will be their man.